Cultivate, Not Crush
So, I'm currently reading this little gem...
And I must say, boy do I wish I would've put this little beauty in my amazon cart a few months ago...b/c while I have only read the intro and briefly browsed through some chapters, I am encouraged.feeling much more motivated.maybe even excited.about these toddler times! Actually, I am currently loving these days chasing around a very busy - into everything - little boy. He cracks me up more times a day than I can count on two hands. I LOVE seeing his big personality come out through his adventurous and curious spirit!
I've read the same book that focuses on infancy, and there were definite tidbits that I found extremely helpful, but some others left me feeling frustrated b/c some of the techniques just didn't seem to "work" on my baby. Oh, the expectations...and lessons...of being a first time Mom. But I think I already like the toddler edition even better...
I love her parenting philosophy - of knowing (and respecting!) your baby's nature - and nurturing your parenting to cultivate them into their own little people! And this is something that has been stirring in my heart for some time now - this call and daily weight I feel to "cultivate, not crush" my Caby's passionate spirit.
So I was not at all surprised to learn that our Caleb was split perfectly between two of the "styles" or "natures": The Textbook Baby and the Spirited Baby. The little quiz only confirmed what I've known all along, and the descriptions make total and perfect sense. Caleb has been pretty "textbook" for the most part in many developmental milestones; however, he likes to take all of these to his own "spirited" level!
For example...
He began teething in pretty normal time, perhaps even a tad bit on the "early side." But by 1 year, through many middle-of-the night restless escapades, he may very well have 8 TEETH! Yes, 8. #7 is just about through...and it seems like the rough part of number 8 is currently underway. Literally, as I typed those words I heard some whimpers coming through the monitor. I've been holding my breath b/c I know one of these nights, #8 is going to wake him up, and we are going to have a 2-3 hour party in the middle of the night and will repeat this for a few nights in a row. BUT the good news is that Caleb HAS been sleeping through the night otherwise (minus the cutting of the 8 teeth which seems to interrupt about every other week or so!) since about 8 months. I'm not sure if I ever mentioned that or not...it's one of those "good seasons" that you are almost afraid to mention in fear you might "jinx it" (whatever that means anyways!).
Or let's take eating for example...he's always been a pretty fabulous eater (except for the few nursing strikes he's put up during aforementioned teething escapades!). He took to solids with no problem whatsoever - easy peasy - and rarely turned his nose up at anything. Very quickly, he was housing jar after jar after jar after jar! Finger foods took a little bit longer b/c in true Caby style, he'd gag very dramatically...even on a puff which dissolves in your mouth. But literally, it was like he just woke up one day and was totally ready. Once again - easy peasy - and instantly, he wanted to down anything he could get his hands on. If I keep food on his tray, he will sit contentedly in his high chair for 30, even 40 minutes, just a-chowin' down. And let me tell you - I'm incredibly thankful for these moments b/c they are one of the very few moments where he is sitting still, safely contained in one spot! However, I find myself needing to eat from across the kitchen b/c if I'm closeby and do not share, that spirit begins to shine! :) And again, pretty textbook, but my little spirited boy likes to take things to the next level! He's done the same thing w/ so many developmental milestones - as soon as he could stand, he wanted to climb. I'm sure as soon as he can walk, he'll be running...and.I.absolutely.love.it.
(enjoying his first Panera grilled cheese!)
But, oh the tantrums, you should see the tantrums. Utter, even quietly, the word "no" and you will see complete DRAMA - full on pouty lip - head quickly to the ground - and tears, really big alligator tears (now where in the world does he get those!?!). And sometimes if you try to veer him away from something he really, really wants but isn't allowed to touch (like computers, DVD players, cords, etc), he will do the full out throw your head back - flail your body - tantrum. We went through a really rough periods with these a few months back (yes, they started that early!), but are slowly beginning to learn how we must nurture his spirited nature!
And I must say, boy do I wish I would've put this little beauty in my amazon cart a few months ago...b/c while I have only read the intro and briefly browsed through some chapters, I am encouraged.feeling much more motivated.maybe even excited.about these toddler times! Actually, I am currently loving these days chasing around a very busy - into everything - little boy. He cracks me up more times a day than I can count on two hands. I LOVE seeing his big personality come out through his adventurous and curious spirit!I've read the same book that focuses on infancy, and there were definite tidbits that I found extremely helpful, but some others left me feeling frustrated b/c some of the techniques just didn't seem to "work" on my baby. Oh, the expectations...and lessons...of being a first time Mom. But I think I already like the toddler edition even better...
I love her parenting philosophy - of knowing (and respecting!) your baby's nature - and nurturing your parenting to cultivate them into their own little people! And this is something that has been stirring in my heart for some time now - this call and daily weight I feel to "cultivate, not crush" my Caby's passionate spirit.
So I was not at all surprised to learn that our Caleb was split perfectly between two of the "styles" or "natures": The Textbook Baby and the Spirited Baby. The little quiz only confirmed what I've known all along, and the descriptions make total and perfect sense. Caleb has been pretty "textbook" for the most part in many developmental milestones; however, he likes to take all of these to his own "spirited" level!
For example...
He began teething in pretty normal time, perhaps even a tad bit on the "early side." But by 1 year, through many middle-of-the night restless escapades, he may very well have 8 TEETH! Yes, 8. #7 is just about through...and it seems like the rough part of number 8 is currently underway. Literally, as I typed those words I heard some whimpers coming through the monitor. I've been holding my breath b/c I know one of these nights, #8 is going to wake him up, and we are going to have a 2-3 hour party in the middle of the night and will repeat this for a few nights in a row. BUT the good news is that Caleb HAS been sleeping through the night otherwise (minus the cutting of the 8 teeth which seems to interrupt about every other week or so!) since about 8 months. I'm not sure if I ever mentioned that or not...it's one of those "good seasons" that you are almost afraid to mention in fear you might "jinx it" (whatever that means anyways!).
Or let's take eating for example...he's always been a pretty fabulous eater (except for the few nursing strikes he's put up during aforementioned teething escapades!). He took to solids with no problem whatsoever - easy peasy - and rarely turned his nose up at anything. Very quickly, he was housing jar after jar after jar after jar! Finger foods took a little bit longer b/c in true Caby style, he'd gag very dramatically...even on a puff which dissolves in your mouth. But literally, it was like he just woke up one day and was totally ready. Once again - easy peasy - and instantly, he wanted to down anything he could get his hands on. If I keep food on his tray, he will sit contentedly in his high chair for 30, even 40 minutes, just a-chowin' down. And let me tell you - I'm incredibly thankful for these moments b/c they are one of the very few moments where he is sitting still, safely contained in one spot! However, I find myself needing to eat from across the kitchen b/c if I'm closeby and do not share, that spirit begins to shine! :) And again, pretty textbook, but my little spirited boy likes to take things to the next level! He's done the same thing w/ so many developmental milestones - as soon as he could stand, he wanted to climb. I'm sure as soon as he can walk, he'll be running...and.I.absolutely.love.it.
(check out the recipes for these yummy zucchini & carrot fritters at http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/)
(enjoying his first Panera grilled cheese!)But, oh the tantrums, you should see the tantrums. Utter, even quietly, the word "no" and you will see complete DRAMA - full on pouty lip - head quickly to the ground - and tears, really big alligator tears (now where in the world does he get those!?!). And sometimes if you try to veer him away from something he really, really wants but isn't allowed to touch (like computers, DVD players, cords, etc), he will do the full out throw your head back - flail your body - tantrum. We went through a really rough periods with these a few months back (yes, they started that early!), but are slowly beginning to learn how we must nurture his spirited nature!
So back to what I was starting to get to earlier...
It was pretty evident early on that we did indeed have a spirited baby on our hands - or passionate as we like to call it. And very quickly, I began to feel this incredible responsibility to "cultivate" his spirit, not "crush" because it was very easy to get quickly frustrated (especially when you are a "spirited" individual yourself!). Even now. No, scratch that, especially, now. While he may not remember much from these early days, these are incredibly formative moments. And I very firmly believe that we set a precedence for the years to come right now.
So I can choose to get incredibly frustrated in a day where the tantrums are overflowing OR for now, I can safely let him flail around on the ground until he is a little bit older and able to control those emotions. I can "shhhhh" any loud outbursts, get exasperated when he explores his way into my bag and showers the floor with my coupons, sigh loudly as I wrestle him on the changing table OR I can yell and sing and dance along with him, laugh at the messes, and dig down and find my silliest voices and facial expressions to entertain him on the changing table. I choose the latter (or at least I daily try to!). B/c I want cultivate that spirit so that one day Caleb will channel that God-given passion and do GREAT things for the Kingdom of God. I absolutely.positively.do not want to.crush.his.spirit. Let's face it, folks, he's total rockstar material...
Now I say all that while also fully believing that as his Momma, I must also set boundaries for him. In my opinion, it goes hand in hand...
...And now, to bed with my sleepy head. B/c I have very quickly learned that if this Momma wakes up a little bit on the sleepy side, I very much clash with my little spirited one. So off to bed for me - urging the Lord once again for wisdom beyond what I have - grace to get this parenting thing "right" - and prayers that tomorrow I will lean more on the cultivate side, than the crush. Amen? Amen.
Comments
Post a Comment